Listening to Mother Nature deal out a doozy of a thunder storm tonight. We’ve been under tornado watches and warnings. Rosa will probably foal out with all this wind, rain, hail, and lightening.
Galen and I used to sit on the back screened in porch and watch the storms. AS much as it has rained the last year, there has only been one other thunderstorm that reminded me of sitting out and watching and listening to it with him.
Now listening to the wrath of the wind and rain and hail, rather than missing Galen I am more in tune with the anger of the storm itself. Thrashing winds, thunder and lightening that want to rip trees up out of the ground. Hail that pelts the house and the fragile spring flowers that are just pushing their heads up through the ground. The same flowers that Galen and the dogs stomped down year after year. Now the hail is wreaking havoc on them.
The storm comes in angry and rolls out with the wind. Much like my emotions over the last few months. While I was working on myself to salvage the relationship, it was soothing and healing. Now, that I know Galen lied to me and carried on with another woman for a long time before he got the courage to say that he wasn’t working on our relationship and he had taken up housekeeping with someone else, I’ve had a hard time letting my anger out. Listening to the storm I’m experiencing the rage and anger and pain that I’ve tried to suppress.
Seems like people who have issues (myself included) tend to bottle up their feelings and sugar coat them or medicate them away. While the savage rains wash away the dirt outside the emotions wash away the wanting and wishing where Galen is concerned.
Some people waste a lifetime hoping for things that aren’t going to happen. I’m fairly content to ride out the storm of anger and start fresh tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is a new day. There are lots of lying, cheating, worthless men around. And I don’t have to settle for any of them. Galen or otherwise.
So bring on the rain.
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