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Okay, what started as a personal blog journey six weeks ago to come to grips with and recover from a broken heart has become a personal victory to discover all the things that a big wide open world without the encumbrances of a man like Galen Sanderson create. I know for lots of my readers you aren't to that point yet. That is okay.

One thing that I've learned is that relationship recovery doesn't have a short cut. It is a process, a journey. Yes, I did wake up one fine day and realize that Galen Patrick Sanderson is a worthless piece of crap that wasn't worth my time, sweat or tears; but I didn't get there the minute I learned that while I was working on our relationship he was working his way into someone else's life. I had to walk along the path of recovery to reach that point.



Not all love matches work "forever." Although that is usually the initial hope, dating and practicing relationships are a path of inquiry, looking for a life partner. Even some marriages turn out to be about that search when it comes to light that you may not have known your partner as well as you thought. That once "perfect" pairing turns out to be a match that was perfect for a period of time and now someone has changed their needs and wants to the point that the relationship is no longer fitting into their new life plan.

The term 'recovering from a broken heart' usually means that there are still strong feelings and attachments to the person you once loved and whom you depended on. It also may tend to imply that the breakup was not the outcome you desired, leaving you feeling some form of powerlessness. There is probably some underlying message that somehow you've failed or that you may not have been good enough in some way.

Those who have faced an ending to an important relationship with someone they loved, and perhaps still love very much, can certainly relate to an aftermath of sadness, grief, disorientation, self-doubt, and often a temporary feeling of depression and despair.

It takes time for your heart to mend, which usually involves a time of thinking through and reliving all the shared experiences. It takes time to re-evaluate your choices from beginning to end, to look for clues that may not have been apparent at the time. This can mean weeks or months and even years for some, of feeling waves of emotion as your mind revisits experiences that keep getting triggered by your daily activities.

One of the most difficult parts of breaking up is getting through the initial shock, sadness and loss. Even those who feel that it was their choice to end the relationship go through a period of feeling lost and confused without their former partner. After all, life has changed drastically and quickly!

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What I want to encourage each of you dealing with the shock, sadness, and loss to do is get out of bed and dry your tears and take a walk. For me, the trip was done on horseback because that is what makes me feel really good. But just step outside of where you are right now, look at the blue sky, listen to the birds, watch the flowers bloom and the grass grow.

No, this won't make you instantly realize that the object of your affection, like mine, is a no-good, lying, cheating, scum. He or she might not be. Believe me, it helps to speed through the process if he or she is. But it will make you feel better. Perhaps not better about the jerk who broke your heart, but better about the absense of the jerk.

It sure has for me.

Go about your day with a glad heart for any day that starts and ends above the ground is better than a day that doesn't. Even small milestones are something to cherish and celebrate.

And if you have a moment of clarity, where you realize that this man or this woman wasn't really worth your love or your tears, then perhaps you are attracted to losers. I say that as kindly as possible as a fellow member of the united lovers of losers club. But knowing that gives you the luxury of setting your sights much higher the next time around.

Remember, no matter how much they beg or gravel, they never, ever get to come back.